Funny Jamaican Translations

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English : There seems to be something wrong with Ms. Pearl, she might have the flu.

Patois : Lawd hav mercy! It look like dem obeah Ms. Pearl (Lord have mercy! It seems that they have cast a spell on Ms. Pearl)
English : Hi Suzie! It’s been a long time since I have seen you girl.

Patois : But wait! Suzie? Gal yuh nuh dead yet? (But wait! Suzie? Girl, I thought you’d be dead by now)
English : He is not too bright.

Patois : Geesas Christ! What a bwoy Dunce. (Jesus Christ! This boy is a dunce)

English : He has very large full eyes.

Patois : Wat ah way di bwoy fayva patoo (This boy really resembles a patoo)
English : Kim, your acne is terrible

Patois : Massah gad, pickney, yuh face bumpy-bumpy an fayva grayta eeh (Oh my god, child, your face is very bumpy and resembles a grater)
English : Sir, could you please refrain from throwing my luggage like that

Patois : Aye buff teet bwoy, tap fling up-fling up mi bag dem suh man. (Hey buff teeth boy, stop throwing around my luggage like that)
English : I’m here waiting for a taxi but I don’t see any in sight

Patois : Wulaan deh, no Robot naah run todeh? (Hold on a minute, isn’t there any illegal taxis running today?)

English : Oh Lord, we have lost electricity again.

Patois : Lawd Gad, JPS lack off di current again . (oh lord, JPS has cut of the electricity again)
English : Aren’t those pants a bit short for you?

Patois : Wah mek yuh throssis looks suh, yuh tek yuh measurment inna wata? (Why does your trousers look like that, Did you take your measurement in water?)
English : Please make some room on the bus so this man can have a seat.

Patois : Skoolaz, small up unnu self man mek daddy cyaan siddung. (Schoolers, make some room so that grandpa can have a seat )